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Inner Voice

Inner Voice

Our minds rarely stop and the chatter of thoughts persists. It gives us the running commentary of everything that is going on in our lives.

If we were to write it down, it would be the script of everything that we see, hear, do, discuss, observe, experience and feel as we go about our daily lives. The same way you talk to others in conversation, your Inner Voice runs lots of conversations with you. What does yours say?

Is your Inner Voice a Critic or a Cheerleader?

Do you already know your Inner Voice? Perhaps you know it as a Critic all too well? If you are not too sure, consider the following:
If you think 90,000 thoughts a day – how many of them are about you?
Think about what you say to yourself, rather than about or to others.
Who does your inner voice reflect?
Where did it learn it’s script?
Does it quote the voices of authority you have had in your life?
Does it represent the voice of social conditioning?
Does anything you say to yourself sound like a critic?
e.g. “I’m an idiot” when you drop something
“I could never do that” – your own dream killer

Have you found your other IC – your Inner Cheerleader?

Do you hear the voice that shouts you on, encourages you to just keep going and that you are doing a great job?
Would it be possible for you to hear that voice, as much, if not more than your Inner Critic?

Whilst your critic is loud, abrasive, insensitive and cutting, your cheerleader is a stark contrast. It’s a softer, gentler, warm voice, it comes from the heart. It is a voice that believes in you. A voice that always wants to emerge more, desperately wanting more air-time.

Your cheerleader voice sounds like the very best mothering you could get. It is a soft, stead, strong voice that holds hope, joy, passion, optimism and one that just simply but always sees and believes in you. Just the way you are – right now.

Through our thoughts and feelings, we are creating our own reality. Nothing and nobody on this planet is perfect and we should stop expecting ourselves to be. You are fine exactly as you are right now. Changing your thoughts will change your experience.
What if you were to just laugh when you drop something?
What if you were to believe you are ready for a new challenge or opportunity?

Stopping your Inner Critic and it’s rant, brings you nearer to your true essesnce. If your mind holds the criticism, your heart holds the cheerleader. Your heart also knows the answers, how to silence the critic and awaken the cheerleader.

Steps to stopping your Inner Critic

  1. Write down one Inner Critics thought                                     [ask your mind]
  2. Where does it come from or what or who triggers it?
  3. Ask yourself – is this thought really true?
  4. How does it make you feel?
  5. What would you be or what would you do without it?           [ask your heart]
  6. What thought or feeling do you need to replace it with?

Give it some time to settle and enjoy “wearing” your new feeling. Any time you hear the old critic arising, catch it! Recognize it as just a thought that no longer serves you and let it float on by, like a cloud in the sky.

Once you have removed one critical thought from your vocabulary, go back through the process again.

Whenever you hear your Inner Critic firing up; sit, breathe, meditate if you can and become aware that your mind is just running a record. You can chose at any time to flip  over that record and play a different song.

Get to know and spend time listening to your hearts voice, your intuition, the voice of your soul – find your Inner Cheerleader!
Feel what it has to say – Believe what it has to say

Fear and Love

Fear and Love

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” – John Lennon

How did John Lennon get it all in one paragraph? By it all I mean, the parameters and purpose of our lives summed up: we gotta learn to love ourselves and then and only then can we truly embrace life. I’d go as far as saying that once you learn to love yourself, your world can be your heaven on earth.

Learning to love oneself is to learn to live from the heart. Conversely, when we don’t love ourselves, we are living in our heads. The occupants, fear and his buddies, can take over and make life a living hell. In everything we do, we are either motivated or turning towards fear or love.

Fear and love are opposites.

I don’t agree with ‘feel the fear and do it anyhow’. That’s like pushing a boulder up a hill and not sustainable over the long run. Why not break up the boulder into smaller chunks? Or a stick of dynamite to blast it into oblivion! Similarly, a much better way is to get to the crux of any feelings we don’t want, and deal with them.

It might not be fear in it’s raw sense. If we are not living in love (which can also be translated as: peace, joy, excitement and acceptance) then we are holding some aspect that is driven by or towards fear. At some level we are in our mind, fear orientated and hearing or doing some of the following:

  • criticizing yourself and constantly putting yourself down?
  • holding back because of fear of failure?
  • angry with someone in your life?
  • running around keeping yourself soooo busy and unable to be alone?
  • worry about money?
  • someone in your life driving you nuts (i.e. irritation)?
  • your relationship a disappointment or are you unhappily single?
  • feel frustrated by some aspect of your life ? career? Finances?
  • doubt your ability to succeed in something that means a lot to you?
  • worry about things that you have absolutely no control over?

dark to light

It’s not about stopping the thoughts. It would be easier to stop a tsunami. There are better options. One is to examine the feeling or thought more consciously. Go into the story, get to the source and interrupt it. Tap inside your inner knowing that holds the crux of the feeling and also has your solution. Write a new outcome for you.

The other option is to make a concerted effort to turn to you heart and tune into what it is telling you. It’s kind of like changing the channel to a different station. Change from fear to love. Every choice you make, every reaction you have to a situation, every outcome of a conversation – ask yourself – is this bringing me to more love?

If you fancy, drop me a message or put a comment with what you’d like to hear more about and I may choose your favourite negative mind chatter to discuss in more detail next week.