Change is inevitable. There is something unique about every day and life is constantly moving forward. But there is routine – about 75% of our actions, thoughts, habits, schedule is repetitive in nature. When change happens, it can feel seismic, regardless of whether it was expected or unexpected or if it is desired or unwelcome in out lives.
Is it already that time of the year when the New Year’s resolutions and promises are wearing thin or perhaps have disappeared completely? Don’t give up just yet or file them under ‘next year’ because it takes weeks if not months to create a new habit. And even when we do create more lasting and embedded habits, there can still be times when we just hit a slump in our motivation and seem to reverse the progress we have been making.
Momentum only really happens when our ‘why’ becomes greater than our objections.
I’ve noticed that one thing that people who self-confess that they are lacking in confidence or perhaps have gotten stuck in a rut have got in common – they lack dreams for their future.
I’m hugely into being happy and content in our lives right now and I don’t believe in escapism or living in la-la land.
But dreams are necessary.
Dreams are what we are looking forward to and anticipating in the future. They don’t have to be massive, we just need to have something to focus our thought and actions towards.
Dreams keep us looking to the future and stop us from looking at the past which is gone
Don’t live your life looking in the rear-view mirror, there’s a road up ahead ! Life is ever changing whether we want it to or not. Being open to change makes it easier for us to navigate the challenges and discomfort of changes when they happen. If we are anticipating something it’s as if we begin to focus on the road ahead, keeping an eye on the horizon, looking for the opportunities, watching for those dreams and desires to come true.
If you’re not even looking for opportunities, you won’t see them. Don’t make them come smack you in the face.
For those who have been burnt and kicked in the ass by life, it can be hard to regain trust and confidence again. And that is exactly where we need to give ourselves permission to dream. It’s ok to start over. IT is ok to trust again. Most times those curve-balls came to us in life because there was something for us to learn. So when we’ve done that, it’s simply time to move on, perhaps on a new path, a new direction … whatever it is for you… it’s just time to dream.
If you buy into the belief that our true purpose here on earth is to learn to love ourselves, well then how do you know that you’re doing a good job? or even that you DO love yourself?
Love can be hard enough to define when it comes to relationships. It often becomes a question of is it love or just excitement and novelty for new relationships and with longer lasting relationships – is it love or is it just comfortable?
The question for our own self love can be even more difficult to quantify.
Here’s a bash at some points that you may find useful in breaking down the love puzzle!
Do you accept and embrace yourself for who you are?
Do you give yourself permission to do the things you love to do?
Do you fill your cup?
Do you express yourself in an authentic way?
Do you behave and act in a way that is really you?
Do you accept your journey in life and where you are at today?
Do you think kind and loving thoughts about yourself?
Do you give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from it?
Do you create time to play and have fun?
Do you allow others to support you?
Is by no means extensive and our self-love needs to be in many directions. We need to love our physically bodies, our personality and emotional traits and then of course our spiritual self is another aspect that we need to embrace as it truly holds our feelings of connection to the world around us and our sense of purpose. In other words – what the hell are we really here for beyond paying the bills right ?
It’s possible to be really good in one direction and absolutely empty in love for ourselves in another. You will know if this is happening as your life will feel quite lob-sided and unhappy or even frustrating.
So what do we really get from self-love?
In my own experience and working with others, it can be quiet a journey to get to having any lasting sense of self-love.
Here’s how some of us would describe it:
More positive mind chatter and less listening to the nagging inner critic.
Feeling passionate about things we have in our lives.
Wanting and willing to go for ‘more’ in multiple directions in our lives.
Better relationships all round and attracting more positive people into our lives.
Confidence and getting on with things we want to do easier.
Happiness and the feeling of ‘I’m me in the world and loving being me’.
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